Hot and Cold

I am naked right now. Literally, though not metaphorically. I am sitting and contemplating the choices I have. Not that I have many. And like we do in most cases, I weigh the two.
I want to stay this way, hold on and keep all those gifts with me. I want to keep all those memories- good and bad- until I feel saturated with the weight of it all. I want to return to the past- to those intimate corners, to that first blush, to that tender caress and remember what it was like to be loved. I want to keep circumventing around those moments- the necklace, the hug, the kiss- and avoid the very obvious, and the only choice I have.
It is difficult, extremely difficult. No matter what I wish for, I must let go. Letting go means leaving the comfort, the safety of the past only to realize it was just a fleeting moment- another phase- of our lives. It means not having something to draw upon. For me, it is standing out in the snow cold blizzard with your entire being bare. It is revisiting those old wounds not to remember and cry, but to heal. It means burning all those memories that defined love, hope and compassion. It means finding new ways to seek, love and show.
I can feel the needles prickling my toes now-an effect of sitting in one place too long. The heat of the shower water vacillates, much like my thoughts, between hot and cold. The water starts its steaming spray, spewing vapors in the tiny bathroom. It turns warm and suddenly, it turns chilling cold. And it turns lukewarm and back to steaming hot again.
Slowly, I get up from my position. The needles have reached my ankles now. I position myself under the spray, completely naked. Metaphorically, of course.

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12 thoughts on “Hot and Cold

  1. Interesting way of showing the ups and downs of life… sudden chilling cold and the warm happy feeling.. Each activity we do can be metaphorically compared with any emotional state… Surprisingly true… I like the way you have written this post.. Keep going like this πŸ™‚

  2. I think we must forget bad moments and remember the good moments but it’s easy to say.I haven’t learnt to forget and forgive yet but you know what? I believe in new beginnings and I believe in dreams.
    xxx

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