I watch my mother giving me lessons about the great philosophies of life- love, hate and despair- as her face contorts into a medley of expressions, each gesture pronouncing the opposite of what her words say. I listen to my father decide what is and what isn’t the right career path for me as I see his regret of not being a doctor reflected in his eyes. I hear my grandmother decide what is and what isn’t the right way for our relatives (and the whole of humanity) to behave as she goes on and on, criticizing one thing after another.
It’s funny how we all are funnily the same.
We go about our ways, trying to show that our lives are prettier than they seem. We say we want love, but are scared of intimacy. We are scared of vulnerability – the very essence of love. We want the money and the grand five starred life, but we also want the security and the stability that comes with a three starred one.
Such words to some, no many, seem baseless and stupid. I know I am only 18 and am no great philosopher to be commenting on the ways of the world, but this is what I have seen and observed.
My parents think I am confused, impulsive and cranky. According to them, I do not have the slightest inkling of my “life’s path”. But as I go about my day, I see people talk and I see the same confusion, impulsiveness and crankiness reflected in their eyes. Some are afraid to show it, others pretend it doesn’t exist and a very select some dare to say, “I don’t know.”
This brings me back to my original question. Why are we taught to laugh when we want to cry and smile when we want to frown? Why must we pretend that our lives are better than what they truly are and our bank balances are larger than they seem? Why can’t we be content with being ourselves and say, “I am fine the way I am”?
Probably because we haven’t been taught how to fail. We have never been taught to be happy with the way we are. We have never been taught to love ourselves. And all our lives we hunt for that love, that “pursuit of happiness” that actually resides within us.
It’s funny how we all are funnily the same.
Take a walk tomorrow. Observe those who have a “hold” on life. See their actions, hear their thoughts. If they claim to have the answer to life, look out for their words. And if they don’t coincide, it’s probably because they don’t know the question itself.
Deadducksalive 